--Not having met and made love to Charlize Theron during the filming of the movie about WTO that I was supposed to be an extra, yet didn’t because of bad meeting info.
--Not having sold one of my many inventions for hundreds of thousands of dollars; come on – every guitar player needs a pick dispensing pez-holder with rock star head of choice!
--Not having sent out that demo for my solo work with Voith Retarder. That shit is good! And that Pho’ Kindai hasn’t been making the soundtrack that every Seattle hipster has been searching Pitchfork for three times a day: To Poop On!
--Not developed a massive heroin habit to cope with Seattle’s massive attitude problem.
--Not having cut off my dreads after making a promise at the Chupacabra, and then to make sure I would follow through with by blacking out from the tequila shots; Whoops!
--Also along those lines: Not getting beat up by the cops after blacking out from tequila shots, walking home three miles, all the while dressed like a wolf. Did you have fun pigs?
--Not having discovered the Silversun Pickups, The Hold Steady, The Cold War Kids, The Sword, Mclusky, and I’m from Barcelona earlier, shit!
--Not seeing the Murder City Devils at their show at the Showbox and instead seeing it at the Capitol Hill Block party with every other drunken asshole is Seattle, thanks guys.
--Not going to Burning Man once again for the third year in a row and instead going to the Oregon Country Fair the third year in a row; ok it was still fun just without FIRE!
--Not having quit smoking earlier – who the fuck has the nerve to only smoke part-time, only in the evening, and while drunk. Next time I smoke it will be for real, I promise.
--Not having finally broken down and purchasing a cell phone. I swear I probably missed out on countless fun—friend-filled—activities because of my stubbornness on that issue!
--Also for not telling everyone in my life that cares for me how much I treasure the fact that I am blessed to have them in my life; you all know who you are and I love you all!
--Not having joined a gym, ate better, exercised more frequently; along with all those other things that everyone and their grandma uses for their new-years resolutions; suckas!
--Not having moved to Ballard when I first planned on it—before that scene had a hip shoe shop, bar owned by Linda’s, and all the other post-cocaine hipster moved there; oh yeah and not following Eli and Heather to Portland so I didn’t have to bitch about Seattle.
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