Hey, the new GTA is out, Yeah!

I'm so excited - in this revamp of the game there is a whole bunch of added features: Like when you get herpes, crabs, or genital warts from a street vixen then later try to pee, the screen flashes red and the rumble feature of the controller starts up so that you know the pain your sexually foolish charachter is going through. Also there is a new drug feature that simulates drug addiction; its like a side game that starts up when your substance challenged charachter takes either heroin, coke, or meth. It goes like this, one hit and a new bunch of missions concerning aquiring drugs and convincing your friends and family that you don't have a problem pop up; only to find yourself in a cheap hotel with a crabs infected hooker pumping your main arterials full of that good ol black tar. I hear one of the bonus levels is a rehab level where you beat up other junkies while wearing a hospital smock. And, the best part of the new Grand Theft Auto is the credit card feature where you get a credit line to "pimp yo ride" and then spend the rest of the game trying to make payments and escaping the dreaded "debtors." They are kinda like the dementors from the Harry Potter mythology but with briefcases that they open and suck away all of your savings; it is intense! Get a life kids - don't you remember how cool the nintendo games were - like Zelda, and Metroid, and Mario even. Can't we go back to the way it was!